5 Reasons Skyrim Will Destroy Your Life

While the majority of you are standing in line waiting for one of the biggest releases of the year, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, I’m currently writing about it. You see, I feel I need to warn others who opted out of a midnight release. Those midnight release creatures are lost now to hundreds of hours of play time and infinite quests.

I, briefly, thought of just linking everyone over to the  intervention site but thought better of it. So below are five reasons to save yourself from falling into a dark reclusive hole brought about by purchasing Skryim. Things like…

5: You Will Never Have Sex Again

Now look, I’m not stereotyping gamers but there’s only so much a significant other can take. The first several days of drinking 2 liters of Mountain Dew Code Red and using the same bottle to urinate back into can seem endearing to a loved one – my loved ones. What happens after the weekend though? It is impossible to do everything in Skryim in 72 hours. Trust me you need to clear at least  300 hours of game time. The cycle continues as you gradually gain weight, wear holes through every pair of sweat pants, and stop using the Mountain Dew bottles. Suddenly, you’re surrounded by weeks of fast food containers and your significant other has moved out. Alone, you sob while gorging yourself ingame and out. I realize I only stressed gamers in relationships. Let’s get honest here, if you pick up Skyrim you won’t be finding a person to settle down with anytime soon. That requires leaving the house.

 4: You will Lose All Your Friends

Most of you are quite aware that Skyrim is a single player game, throwing you into a huge immersive world. Unlike multiplayer games, like the newly released Modern Warfare 3 (where you can revel in the ability to scream obscenities at your friends and Adderall addicted 14 year olds) there is no reason to talk to anyone outside of the Skyrim universe. Obviously, the Skyrim universe has employed more voice actors than most people have friends, 70. It takes a group that size to tackle 47,000 lines of dialogue so you’ll be busy for awhile. In the meantime all your friends will be busy bonding over their new monkeytail beards.

3: You will Lose Your Job and Possibly Your House

The weeks have been piling up and you’ve used all of your vacation days (and sick days). You have two choices, continue playing Skyrim or go back to work. Obviously, leaving the house to find a new job is out of the question. Newly unemployed, the guilt of not going to your job is gone. By this point the only logical thing to do is to find a job in Skyrim. Depending on how much you have saved you might be evicted. Moving back in with parents or relatives is in the immediate future.

 2: Osteoporosis

The silent hug death usually reserved to Grandma’s has arrived. Weeks of refusing to move off your futon and the copious gallons of Code Red you’ve indulged in have made your bones fragile, brittle time bombs. You’ve become one of the lamest villains in history. Meanwhile, you’ve made certain your strong berserker has overcome any and all ailments, diseases, and curses throughout Skyrim. Your parents will be forced to purchase you a Hoveround, but you’ll forge ahead, fully sucked into Skyrim.

1: You will probably Die

I’m not going to predict anyone’s death. All I’m saying is if you play Skyrim, you will die. The world that Bethesda gives to us is just more amazing than our own. I was going to write a fully detailed description of how you perished, dear reader. Instead I think I’m going to go pick up my pre-order of Skyrim. I mean, come on – it’s going to be epic. 

Extra Credits Rundown

Now that we’ve released our spiffy, new blog into the wild, we suppose you’re wondering what to expect from it. Well, you’re in luck, because this post is dedicated to just that. Here are some of the things we’ll be writing about on Extra Credits.

• Dev updates from the team
• Some of the methods to our madness
• Previews and reviews of games we’ve been playing around the office
• Our musings on popular gaming trends / news
• Design / coding inspiration and resources
• Any of neat stuff we think of along the way…

So, thanks for stopping by and stay tuned. We’ve got some great stuff coming down the pike very soon…

Break Out the Bubbly. Extra Credits is Up and Running.

We’re kicking off the inaugural post with a favorite quote that we’ve kind of been using as our mantra around the GameHuddle offices. Learn it. Live it. Love it.